Why am I writing about it today? Well, I got inspired to do it after talking recently with hundreds of women from all courses of life, who, although all aimed for success, subconsciously many of them sabotaged their actions toward it! Maybe you wonder why?
Let me ask you first some questions:
* Do you fear how others will perceive you once you are successful as if you have changed or forgotten where you have come from and now feel somehow superior?
* Does it make you feel like an outcast from your usual environment and friendship circles?
* Do you fear criticism or even ridicule or that you are an impostor (fraud!!)?
If yes, keep reading! And no worries, you are not alone – that is a topic I see quite often among women! Many of them (and hey, men too!) feel they want to fit in…and success can make them stand out. And I was there for a while too!
Once you are successful, there is nowhere else to go, and that is scary for some people! Yes! But if you don’t get there, you don’t have to live up to anything or anyone. There is always more responsibility involved, people will demand more from you – so my dear, can you handle these expectations? There is one thing for sure: normal life is quite easy & comfortable. Success is complicated & uncomfortable, terrifying at times, and some women feel that they couldn’t handle it, and on top of that, they think they don’t deserve it! I know what I’m talking about as I felt like that too! Yes, I did!
Now, on a practical level, success can make demands on your time or changes to your routine, and that can be inconvenient. OK. It may take you away from friends, family, hobbies, fitness etc. But not forever! Success means to be in a new environment, and lots of people fear it (it is a self-defence mechanism that stops you from going to the unknown! That’s fear of becoming unlovable once successful! That’s one of the deepest fears. As such, there can be lots of pain attached to the pursuit of success (e.g. like one of my female clients who was afraid of being more successful than her man or another client afraid to be better than her mother!) and as a penalty that would withdraw of love/acceptance!
Does the fear of success paralyses you or stops you from acting when the future that you fear is so far away, and there are so many steps to take before you get there? Don’t overthink it simply because the reality of success you seek will be different from how you perceive it anyway. So, my advice would be to let reality play out as it will! So that you stay sane:)
Sure, there are costs to success, sacrifices to make, no doubt about it! But hey, what is the price of staying where you are? Did you think about this? What would happen if you could conquer your fear of success? Who could you become?? What could work? What would success mean for you?
And my question is: what price do you want to pay, what sacrifice do you want to make? And, of course, the success you define yourself! Judge what success is really like when you get there! And when people say “You have changed,” say ‘Thanks, YES, I have’ because, hey, who wants to stay in the same place as years ago??
Seriously, my heart is crying when I hear women who are so afraid to go for what is meant for them only because they are so scared of what others will think and that they will be excluded from the current circles! So, for every person that will hate the very thing that is great about you, remember, that others will love everything about you! They will respect and admire you. You will be the light that inspires them to get a better life, and that is one of the best feelings there is!
Don’t compromise yourself…you’re all you have got!
So, my dear, and if you find when you reach the heights of success that you hate any of it, NO PROBLEM AT ALL, give it all to me, and I will take care of it for you 🙂
But if you feel you need support to you overcome this fear, finally shine your light and get what you deserve, don’t hesitate to book a complimentary call with me to discuss it: https://calendly.com/alenahielema
To your success!
Alena