The ART of saying NO

Are you one of those women who can’t say NO in various life & work situations? I was there for a long time and it was not pleasant at all.

I often hear that women say ‘YES’ when someone asks them to do extra work, give an additional task, presents an opportunity that is not according to their values and then they don’t feel comfortable about it at all. Ohh, yes I get it as I was there too, pleasing others but forgetting about myself. But still, I didn’t confront it by asking questions like: what does it do for me, how do I feel afterward, is it beneficial for me (and others too)? And as Maya Angelou once said ‘When you know better, you do better’. So I do my best now to be assertive and with pleasure teach others how to do it too.

After talking to a friend of mine yesterday I decided to write this piece, so it can hopefully be an eye opener some of you reading it.

First of all, what is essential, I am sure, is that you need to be a person of integrity and stand for something; otherwise, some people will try to use you to their advantage (not all, of course!) 

We are continuously bombarded with all kind of opportunities and offers, so sometimes it is difficult to asses what is right and what is not for us. But ‘NO’ is a mighty word! Being able to say ‘NO’ will help you become confident in setting personal standards and being comfortable setting boundaries which are critical in reaching your goals and your journey to success! Assertiveness, in my opinion, is one of the essential skills you need to learn to be able to thrive (and stay sane :)!

It gives the energy to focus on things to bring you closer to your destiny. I realized that I couldn’t do everything, and I shouldn’t even try to do it all. Remember that the plan you have for your gift will guide you! By saying ‘NO’ to some opportunities that don’t fit your values & don’t give you the possibility to use your gift, you let someone else shine (you will open the door for others to rise! Yes!) 

What I know for sure is the fact that by saying ‘NO’ you stop giving your gift to those who want to use you for the development of their legacy at the cost of yours. Don’t let anyone distract you from focusing on your vision. Period.

I always say to my clients that easy way to know when to say ‘NO’ to any opportunity, job offer or particular request coming your way is by asking yourself some crucial questions, like: Does it help me get closer or take me further from your goals? Does it support my gift? Does it mutually benefit both the other parties involved and me? Does it conflict with a moral belief even if it helps me in different ways? Saying ‘NO’ now will give you victory later.  

What is your take on that? Share with us.
Regards, Alena

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