After last week’s clients work and giving the workshop to a large group of students at the Erasmus University in Rotterdam, one thing came up – a big problem with ‘playing nice. Women have been socialized to prioritize being liked and to ‘make nice-nice’ with everybody. We often feel like not to rock the boat or appear confrontational, so we refrain from saying or doing what is necessary to get ahead and advance our careers or business. Do you agree? But we get to a point in our careers & life where we’ve got to make decisions and lead in ways that won’t please everyone. We need to stop saying YES to tasks we don’t want to perform and that will eat up our time bringing little benefit! Because in this way, we can stop robbing us of the capacity to act with authority for fear of disappointing others or making them even unhappy.
I was there too, my dears, but it took me a long while to get rid of this disease. And I know for sure that the only way to stay sane in this is the necessity to think long and carefully about your priorities. Yes, and YOUR preferences. Not what would please others, not what would make everyone think you are the greatest person to work with and meet, but what YOU in your heart want to achieve and be in your life. Giving all the distractions and pressures you face nowadays (especially being a mother and combining your career or business), and the multitude of walks to feeling guilty, finding a way to push back against this ‘playing nice’ issue is more essential than ever.